You're the one for me, Fatty. You're the one I really, really love.

"Lost" star reveals his dark side

He can't be serious...

Tonight I was preparing popcorn for a woman (small bag, extra butter in the middle and on top, could you please shake it and make sure you put salt in the middle? Also, if you could balance this egg on your head and dance the Can-Can while reciting the Gettysburg Address that would be great, thanks.) who was the beginning of a huge line.
Important Popcorn Safety Tip: Never hurry when buttering the popcorn. It will spray everywhere and that shit does not come off.
Ever.

Of course, doing the logical thing in a situation where people are yelling at you and treating you as if you are beneath them, I hurried so I could speed them through my line.
Well, the butter sprayed everywhere.
Not only that, but it sprayed in my hair, on my shirt, on my neck, on my face and in my eyes.
Not in my eyelids.
In my eyes; I was blinded and it burned like holding a lighted firecracker in the palm of my hand.

And the woman laughed, told me she wished she had a video camera and then jokingly asked if I could do it again because that was just soooooo funny.

It took at least three face washings to get it off of my skin, the oil took all of my eye makeup off in one swipe without any rubbing.
It was evening eye makeup, that is a lot of makeup to wipe off.