Thursday, March 22, 2007

This is a long drive for someone with nothing to think about...

toothpaste for dinner
toothpastefordinner.com

Furthering my hatred for school, I am two hours early to my final because my syllabus said one thing, the PSU website said another and my teacher said nothing.
I walked into a Psych 204 final, took one look at the worksheet, said to myself, "F---! I hate my life." stormed out of the room and am now biding my time until 12:30.
Time that I could be using to study but I didn't bring my books because I thought my final was going to start fifteen minutes ago.
I also didn't bring the laptop because I figured I'd been in and out and on my way.
(Angry animal noises)

I think it's interesting that thesaurus.com would list "awkward age" as a synonym for the word "growing."
Interesting... and somewhat disappointing.

I find the transition from spider solitaire directly to regular solitaire to be very difficult.
It's also slightly unnerving that the guy serving my daily cup of over-priced coffee is missing half of his teeth. Well, I don't exactly know if they're missing or if they're so crooked it looks like some of them are missing. He also has really long hair and a patchy handle bar moustache.
It's kind of... not something I want to think of as I drink this cup o' tea.

toothpaste for dinner
toothpastefordinner.com

Hopefully, I will walk into the right final the next time around.
This is my last one and then we're going to have a Jim Henson movie and birthday present shopping marathon!
Aaaah, spring break.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Doctor Gradus ad Parnassum

Increasingly Frequent Forays Into Flaccidity

French exam is done and done, thank God.
This may have been the longest term of my life and I could not be happier it's coming to an end.

But let's be serious for a moment:
The reason Davis is attracted to Brooke even though he is a homosexual is because Brooke looks like a man and may or may not have been a man at one point in her life.
Come on, it's so obvious; Davis is gayer than Joey Lawrence on "Dancing With The Stars."
There's no way...

After intricate research while not studying for the dreaded anthropology final, I have discovered that "gnossiennes," "ogives" and "gymnopédies" are not words in any language and Satie was full of crap.

If you'll excuse me, I have to make the very important decision of which stand-up comedian I should spend my iTunes dollars on.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Only love can make it rain.














I don't believe this.

If this were true all of the athletes I went to high school with wouldn't have been some of the dumbest people I've ever met.
When I think of athletes in high school, I think of Vixathep's psychology class first semester of senior year where Debra and I were in a class full of 90% of the football team.
And there was the one that would always bump into me with his massive body and then look at me as if to ask, "Yeah, you like that? You like that."
I did not like it; pretty sure the look I gave him said something like, "Get the Hell away from me, you're tacky and ugly." but the message never got across.

Which brings me to my point: if exercise makes people smarter, this guy wouldn't have continued to rub his butt against my arm after I repeatedly gave him a look of impending death and pain.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Homosapiens have out-grown their use.

Ah, St. Patrick's Day.
The only holiday where it's socially acceptable to get off-your-ass-drunk and act like a douche bag in public.

Direct quote from Michelle about two seconds ago:
"My Sim accidentally adopted a kid yesterday, then I killed it in the pool and deleted its tombstone."

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Wooden ships on the water, very free and easy.

Saw Zodiac last night, it was long.
I actually enjoyed it; it only took an hour and a half to suck me into the story, left me hanging for another hour and in the last twenty minutes or so it provided some explanations... gift-wrapped for me with a little bow.
I enjoy that sort of torture.

Read This

I'm wondering, if the film were made by the Persians do you think we'd be getting angry phone calls from Greece?
Do you think Britain gets angry every time we make a revolutionary war film? I never cared enough about The Patriot to hear their opinions but that's the most recent example I can think of.
Is everyone searching for shit to be angry about now, instead of dealing with the real issues?

Premonition opens this weekend...
Surprise twist in the story: the perfect husband is having an affair with the blond woman.
Shocking, I know.
The poster is hanging up across from the cafe and every ten minutes I hear, "When is that opening?! I want to see that it looks sooooo good." This is from the same crowd that made The Messengers number one a month or so ago.

I saw freaking Ghost Rider the other night and I don't want to see this movie.
Think about that for a bit...

Monday, March 12, 2007

Hang me up to dry, you rung me out too many times.

Surprise ending to the story: I don't care anymore!
Oh, thank you, Jesus.

On Thursday I worked the door shift for the midnight premiere of 300.
The shift was mind numbingly boring up until around 10:30 so I decided to write a note to Ashely, who was in box.
It started out as pretty uneventful, I was talking about moving out soon and having to decide on where I wanted to live. Then I told in her that I am always paranoid that the people in concessions are staring at my butt whenever I'm working door, so I always try to stand up as straight as I can and arch my back so as to make my butt look as small as possible.
This wasn't really something I wanted to broadcast, just something that occupies my head whenever I'm standing at door.
Apparently, this amused Ashley so much that she was lol-ing out loud while other people were in the box and she wanted others to know why she was laughing. So, she showed one of my managers the note--the one where I was complaining about the size of my backside and how I'm always paranoid of being watched.

Ah hahaha, outstanding.

Have you seen this?
Ball would have a heart attack and die if she came out here and saw what the kids were dressing like.
"They're showing their ankles! They're going to straight to Hell if we don't do something about this right now! Education? What education, they're in school because they need to learn how to dress modestly and behave!"
They're pushing for uniforms, I hear. She'll be the first one behind that campaign.

I sorely want to go shopping but I can't.
I hate these days; I don't need anything and I don't have any money to spend but I want to feel the satisfaction of buying something for myself.

I'm thinking I'll just go buy some candy or something. My stomach is eating itself from hunger anyway.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

My legs only come up to here and yes, I will always be a little bit fat!

I just had to point this out.

Young Chevy Chase:







Ryan Gosling in Half Nelson:













Woah, are you freaked out? I know I am.
Wish I had a larger photo of Chevy Chase but you get the point.

I've been watching bits and pieces of 300 on my break.
The movie itself is pretty one-dimensional; lots of blood, lots of limbs flying about, lots of interesting make up situations that make kings look like drag queens...
I'm not so sure about the movie yet but I'm definitely sure about one thing:

















Yes, that is nice, indeed.

That's really all I had to say.

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Hide the switch and shut the light.

If you loved Silent Hill...
You'll love Night At The Silent Hill.

Michelle's watching Stick It and because I'm sitting in the room I am also watching it.
I was just reminded of one of the best movie lines in Cinematic History. A girl had a deduction from her perfect score because her bra strap was showing.
Jeff Bridges yells, "That rule is ancient!"
The judge fires back, "Apparently, so is her bra!"

Aaaaaah, it doesn't get any better than that.

Monday, March 5, 2007

Let me make it plain, got to make way for the homo-superior.

I can't decide whether the folk on The Agency are putting on a show or if they are really that crazy.
We're talking, like... sing-it crazy.
"Crrrray-zeeee!"
I guess the show we be pretty boring if it didn't have it's alcoholic drama queens but nobody is that ridiculous.

I think I should make it known that this weekend Wild Hogs was the most popular movie at the theater and Zodiac did not do as well as we had anticipated.
Mark this day off on your calendars, Americans are so depressing.
They're also rude; I'm wondering when exactly it became OK to be rude to people in entry-level jobs.
I know it seems like we're beneath and working for you but in reality, we're in charge of your food and your tickets. We don't have to make it correctly for you if choose to patronize us in such a way. We could easily screw it up and charge you extra without you knowing.
I don't do it because I'm a better person than that but GOD, lately I have wanted to.
Most of us are bitter and sarcastic because adults automatically assume we're stupid and going to screw up the order. The job isn't difficult, a monkey could do it without any help (and probably better than half of the employees), but it's difficult to perform it correctly when an adult adopts a voice that turns us into third graders.
Well, if you're going to assume we're as ignorant as a third grader then we're just going to have to perform the job as third graders.
You dug your grave now you're going to lie in it with crumbs of soggy popcorn and too much ice in your drink.
It was you're choice, not mine.




























I think I'll just end it there.

Sunday, March 4, 2007

Friday, March 2, 2007

So much for all your high-brow Marxist ways.











When the funeral is over, will Anna Nicole and all of her equally as insane counterparts finally go away?
Please?
For the sake of all respectable newscasters across this country, please?!




















I have been less than productive today.
Why do work when you can look at stuff like this all day?

I was thoroughly enjoying my time sitting in this cafeteria until a bunch graduate students came in, turned Sublime and Bob Marley on the stereo and
starting doing sound checks for their band performance. I can only guess what genre of music is going to come at me in a minute...

















This would be my cue to leave.